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“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” – Matthew 7:6
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned as a leader is not to give more energy than people show through their actions. I used to believe that my kindness, vision, and resources could elevate those around me, but I’ve come to realize that energy must be matched, not forced.
Whether someone is a pastor, a business leader, an entrepreneur with their own car dealership or cleaning service, or even a longtime friend, the principle remains the same: you cannot force someone into a new level of thinking if they are not ready to grow.
If a person is territorial or a one-man show, let them reproduce at their own level of intelligence without exhausting yourself trying to change them. Maya Angelou said it best: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” It is not bad for someone to be territorial; what’s worse is trying to force them to be something they’re not.
The Shift: Recognizing Energy Over Resources
It doesn’t matter how much wisdom, opportunity, or influence you bring to the table—if the person in front of you lacks the right attitude, mindset, or work ethic, nothing you offer will change them.
I remember a time when I was trying to help someone build their business. I saw their potential, their talent, and I believed that if they just had the right resources and guidance, they could take it to another level. So, I invested time, knowledge, connections, and even money—but their actions didn’t match the opportunities being given to them.
✔ Deadlines were missed.
✔ Follow-ups didn’t happen.
✔ Excuses replaced execution.
At first, I was frustrated, thinking, Why won’t they just step up? I’m giving them everything they need! But then I realized… it wasn’t their fault. It was mine.
I failed to recognize their energy level. I wanted success for them more than they wanted it for themselves. And that was the mistake.
“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” – Proverbs 22:3
When you continually pour into people who lack the capacity to grow, you set yourself up for frustration. Instead of forcing opportunities onto people, focus your time, wisdom, and energy on those who are truly ready to receive and act on it.
How to Focus Energy on Those Who Deserve It
- Lead from Position, Not Emotion – As a leader, your world is the world people must enter. Don’t chase people’s energy—set the standard, and those who are serious will rise to meet it.
- Observe Actions Over Words – People can talk about wanting success, but watch their discipline, their work ethic, and their commitment. Your energy should be invested in builders, not talkers.
- Require Reciprocity – Those who truly value your leadership will seek you out, ask questions, and take action. If they are passive, inconsistent, or entitled, they are not ready.
- Stop Over-Investing in Low Frequency Energy – Some people are comfortable in mediocrity, and that’s their choice. Let them stay where they are while you continue building something greater.
- Develop a Leadership Filter – Before giving access to your time, wisdom, and resources, assess: Are they hungry? Are they willing? Do they act without needing to be pushed? If not, they are not ready for your energy.
Final Thought: Build Your World, and Let Them Enter It
I used to meet people where they were—but now I require them to meet me where I am. If they can’t, there is no collaboration to be had.
As a leader, your energy must be focused on those who are already moving toward you, not those you have to drag along.
If someone is territorial, let them be. If someone is a one-man show, let them work at their own pace. Leadership is not about forcing change—it’s about creating an atmosphere of reciprocity.
At the same time, I also recognize that I am a community-driven person. I thrive in collaboration, connection, and shared success. I love being around people, creating opportunities, and building environments where everyone grows together. But I have also learned that not everyone operates the same way.
Some people are more introverted, reserved, or prefer to work independently—and that’s not a flaw. Being territorial or self-contained isn’t necessarily bad; it simply means they have their own way of operating. The mistake comes when I try to impose my way of leading onto those who don’t function that way.
I have to be careful not to force my sense of community on those who don’t thrive in that space. Just as I want my energy to be respected and reciprocated, I must also respect the energy of others—even if it’s different from mine.
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” – Proverbs 13:20
The shift is here. Elevate your space. Demand connection and synergy. Lead from strength. The right people will come.
