Chapter 8: Let’s Talk About It

Mental Health, Church Hurt, and Healing in Real Time

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Introduction

There was a time when talking about mental health in church felt like speaking another language.

• Anxiety was labeled “a lack of faith.”
• Depression was called “a demon.”
• Therapy was considered “worldly.”

And if you dared to say, “I’m not okay”—you were met with a verse and a vague encouragement to “just pray about it.”

But a new generation isn’t just talking about it—they’re refusing to be silent.

• Done with pretending
• Done with surface solutions
• Done with hiding pain behind a praise break

Because they’ve seen what happens when you ignore what’s breaking inside:
It leaks into relationships, leadership, parenting, purpose, and spiritual identity.

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Small Story: The Silent Breakdown

I once knew a young man in ministry—sharp, gifted, always present.
He served every Sunday, helped with tech, and even led Bible study on Wednesday nights.

But what no one knew?
He cried in the car every week before stepping into the church.

He was:

• Battling anxiety
• Carrying family burdens
• Quietly drowning under the weight of expectations

But he didn’t feel safe saying anything, because:

“Leaders don’t talk like that.”

When he finally opened up, someone told him:

“Maybe you’re under attack. Just pray more.”

What he really needed was a safe space, not a spiritual shortcut.

Eventually, he found healing—but not in the church he had served so faithfully.
He had to leave to feel human.

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The Weight of Unspoken Struggles

Church hurt doesn’t always come from offense.
Sometimes it comes from being unseen.

From:

• Being told to stay strong when you’re already shattered
• Realizing that your pain is too uncomfortable for others to sit with

And mental health struggles?

They’re not always loud.
They look like:

• High-functioning leaders with hidden panic attacks
• Moms smiling at Bible study while battling postpartum depression
• Teens memorizing verses but self-harming in secret
• Men who haven’t cried in twenty years because they were taught that “real men don’t break”

God never designed us to carry invisible battles alone.

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Biblical Insight: Elijah Wanted to Die — God Let Him Rest

In 1 Kings 19, Elijah—one of the most powerful prophets in the Bible—sat under a tree and asked God to let him die.

He was:

• Exhausted
• Afraid
• Overwhelmed

What did God do?

• Rebuke him for being weak?
• Quote Scripture at him?

No.

God sent an angel to let him rest and brought him food.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is:

• Take a nap
• Eat a meal

Healing is spiritual. Rest is spiritual. Counseling is spiritual.

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The New Culture: Safe + Spiritual

We’re not choosing between prayer and therapy.
We’re choosing both.

We’re not replacing faith with feelings.
We’re learning that God cares about both.

We’re not watering down the gospel.
We’re finally letting it touch the parts of us we’ve ignored for too long.

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Reflection Questions

1. Have I dismissed or minimized someone’s mental health struggle because I didn’t understand it?
2. What unspoken pain am I still carrying silently?
3. How can I help create a space where both healing and faith can coexist?

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Call to Action

Let’s talk about it.

Not just from the stage—but in our:

• Small groups
• Families
• Friendships

Let’s:

• Ask the hard questions
• Sit in the uncomfortable spaces
• Walk with people instead of pushing them to perform

Because healing doesn’t happen in silence.
It happens in safety.

And safety starts with someone willing to say:

“You don’t have to hide here.”